Saturday 24 January 2015

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished!

On Tuesday, being sick/missing my mum's cooking and craving Nigerian food led me to joining Nairaland, a Nigerian community online. I created an account and put up a post asking people for suggestions on where one could find naija food in Brussels. Almost immediately I started getting lots of  emails, none of them responding to my question, but all asking how to get a visa to Belgium. I replied a lot of them, telling them that I had no clue about immigration issues but in spite of this, received quite a few life résumés, with people telling me their stories. I began to feel really bad about being so useless at helping, so I deleted my profile. However, just before that, I got an email from someone who's problem seemed straightforward and easy enough to resolve. It was from a guy in Dubai who wanted to come to Brussels next September for his Masters; he just needed someone to pay in the application fee of 50€ for him. Since the whole thing seemed above board, I agreed to help. 

He sent me the money via Western Union yesterday, and I did the wahala to go out in the cold to collect it.  When it came to paying the fee, I asked him to come online (whatsapp) because I was worried about making a mistake and wanted to be able to double-check every detail with him. From the payment point of view, everything went smoothly, but we had to wait to get a confirmation from the University and/or my bank that the money had gone through. It was during this waiting period that the bobo realised that he needed a girlfriend! He started asking me some strange questions and as I could see what direction he was headed in, I quickly cut him short by telling him that I HAD A BOYFRIEND. 

My people, the man no gree free me o. He started going on about how the good ones are always taken, how he just needs to get here and I would fall in love with him and so on...you know all that bullshit that men sometimes think girls like to hear. I was like thank you but NO! He sha kept going on, even talking about divine meeting gan. Me, I was like God forbid bad thing! Then he started boasting about how he's gone out with lots of white girls but as his parents would never accept them, he'd decided to come home to someone who would know his culture. I just yimued and asked him wetin concern agbero with overload? All that history was none of my business! Eventually sha, he asked and I  answered him truthfully, saying that no I wasn't with a Nigerian. However I also told him that I did not choose my partner (or friends) based on the colour of their skin but on their character...that's when he started saying loads of stupid stereotypical crap. Trying not to be too rude, I told him off mildly, and he took that as an invitation to start sending me pictures. One of him being and I quote, "a hot nigga," another with one of his "white" girlfriends who was actually Filippina I think. At that point I realised that I was chatting with an idiot, and was just waiting eagerly for him to confirm that the transaction had gone through before blocking him. All the while he continued "trying to woo me" by denigrating non-nigerians, talking about how we'd be married by the end of the year and how our meeting was divine intervention. Me I sha told him bluntly that I rejected his claims IJN, and that as soon as I recieved confirmation, I'd block and delete him sharpish. As if he didn't have ears, he then started asking me for me pics! I was like no, never. I don't know you and as I said, I have a boyfriend and this is purely me doing you a kindness. He kept insisting and even asked me to give him back his photos. I was like na me send you? Pictures that I deleted almost immediately! My phone's memory is not limitless so I can't afford to keep rubbish on it. 

Anyway long story short, I told him that he was beginning to sound like a broken disc and asked him to change the subject. I started asking him about his studies and other things, and that my friends is how the conversation fizzled out. No longer willing to wait for the confirmation, I decided to just block him and delete his number. A bit harsh I know, but abeg the guy was just so inconsiderate. You ask a stranger for a favour like this, then you start adding other errands (he got me to call the school sef) and then as if you haven't abused of their kindness enough, you decide that you'd like to break up their happy relationship and ruin their life into the bargain. Stupid alakoba! My favourite cousin used to call this kind of people "awon aye, a nirun lahon." Everyone always says I'm too trusting, and maybe it's true, but I've just learnt another unfortunate lesson...be careful who you help.

10 comments:

  1. Yes, Clara you are ENTIRELY TOO TRUSTING and TOO NICE. I wouldn't have even entertained it at all. You have to stop that because you're an amazing girl and I'd hate for some of the colder cultures to get to you and harden your heart.

    Please be careful that guy was a psycho. Ugh.

    Xoxo,

    La Deutsche Diva
    http://ladeutschediva.blogspot.com

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    1. I'm learning that people will take advantage of you whenever they can and that I must be wary. It sadly means that I will be much less likely to help other (perhaps more deserving) people in the future.

      Thaks for your concern anyway. I hope you're having a great weekend.

      XXX

      P.S. I used a lot of Yoruba and Nigerian pidgin English in this post, I hope it wasn't too hard to decipher? Kpele! With all the naija bloggers you "hang out" with, I'm sure you're slowly morphing into one of us ;)

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  2. I could figure this post out using context clues lol. That other post was mostly pidgen so I was lost!

    But with this post...Just be careful, ok? I'm also the type of person who has a big heart and loves to help people. If a person starts off the bat with a handout for help I'm done before we even start. But people who are genuine but just happen to be in need, you usually can tell. It takes time.

    Pass auf dich auf!

    Xoxo,

    La Deutsche Diva
    http://ladeutschediva.blogspot.com

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    1. Haha. We'll make a Nigerian out of you yet, you just watch lol!

      And thanks for the advice. I've had so much help from strangers in my life and I feel obliged to pass it on...so I've done lots of seemingly crazy things, but except for 2 people, I have never ever been let down so I continue. I just hope I'll get to the stage where I can recognise advantage-takers...

      We should talk again soon, maybe this weekend? Let me know your schedule.

      Gros bisous!

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  3. Hahahah mbok Clara I cant with you hahahaha. Kpele u hear?! But yes as the Diva has already said, being too trusting can land u in hot pot of egusi that is still cooking!

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    1. lol @hot pot of egusi soup...so naija! Abi are you thinking of G's fav food again ni?

      I'm learning about unsavoury people, but honestly I've been wondering if that was just his own special style of asking girls out? You know batter them verbally into saying yes...I hate that style sha.

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  4. My dad says that we shouldn't let someone's (bad) behaviour keep us from doing the right thing, but that doesn't mean we should allow someone to abuse us or take advantage, which I take to mean that we have to set our boundaries.

    I'm glad that you were able to help him. It's unfortunate that he was so relentless in his pursuit, despite your efforts to deter him, and even though he didn't really listen I think you did set boundaries with him.

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    1. And your dad is right from my experience. Really as I said to the Deutschdiva, I have done so much seemingly "scary" things to help peopl, but apart from twice, I can honestly say I've never been let down. Of course I do this because life taught me to, from being put in strange/scary situations (usually during my travels), where strangers have really come through for me....

      Yes it's strange. I mean who thinks verbally battering a girl into submission is the way to go? And I had to set boundaries even though I felt so impolite while doing it. I just kept thinking of my bf ever reading any of the messages and misconstruing things because I hadn't been clear enough...the fear of a relationship breakdown is the beginning of wisdom lol!

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  5. hahahahahahahahahahahhahahah You sef Egbon.. With all due respect Bubba, you Like Wahala shaaa... Naira Land fa?! I am happy he even only tried to toast you sef, it could have been worse.. 2 social sites I never Trust! in this my confused life are Naira Land and Badoo... Anyway You know it is not his fault nah, you are "gbono fele feli.." heheheh Its amazing how desperate some folks can be.. I mean why not be civil at first and let the relationship grow before going all ghen ghen on the Babe.. I used to be like that but thank heavens for bloging and for all the No's i have gotten.. They rearranged my scattered brain **Shines teeth. I kinda dont have time for that life anymore.. Bubba please be a tad careful oo, there are many wolves out there..

    In other news, its time for me to make love to your blog, so i will be on as a many posts as possible.. Faaa.. I am so stale here ehn.. How did i miss all these in 1 week?! Mehn! Grrr... Oya lemme go read through :) Cheers Egbon. xx.

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    1. Duru my fav aburo. Long time no chat. Abeg forgive me, your sister is wakadugbing again and needs to work a lot to get the time off. Also to get money since you refuse to fund her Ajala lifestyle :(

      In other news, yes o, I have since learnt. I googled naija food and that's how I stumbled on the site. Let's just say I'm never going back.
      Even if I'm gbono, is that how you approach a girl? Haba! @be civil first etc...Exactly!

      Luck you changed before I met you sha. I for don do Judas and deny you more than 3times gan! Thank you Jesus for my dear new and improved Adolf. We love him just the way he is lol!

      @make love, this boy you no gbadun o, lol! I don't know what happened last week, but I was on a roll and the posts just kept jumping outta me...let's see how long it lasts sha haha!

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